Tch Like That'd Ever Happen
by SunshineandDaisys
Summary: AU Oneshot: Two Princesses. One handsome prince. What will happen? Just something insane I wrote with a friend. The characters are OOC [British Accents, y'know]. Enjoy!


Disclaimer: We do not own Inuyasha, Charlie Weasley, Hojo, Robin Hood, or Japan. We do, however, own the two princesses, this story and plot, and the bit about poofy headed giraffes. Thank you.

Authors Note: Hiya folks! This is SunshineandDaisys here, me and my pal Elizabeth R. decided to write up this little story about ourselves. It's short, insane, and we promise you'll laugh at least once. So grab the popcorn, a box of tissues, and maybe a friend or two cause it's time for "Tch... like that'd ever happen..."

Enjoy!!!!!

Tch.. Like That'd Ever Happen...  
By: The Two Idiot Princesses

Once upon a time... long, LONG, ago... in a far away land called Japan, there lived two princesses. But only one, handsome prince...

"HE LIKES ME MORE!"

"NO, HE LIKES ME MORE!"

The two princesses, Elizabeth and Alyssa, were standing on the top of their castle screaming bloody murder at each other. Elizabeth wore a long pink dress with one of those ice-cream-cone-lookin'-hats. Alyssa didn't like dresses, so she wore Robin-Hood-esque clothing. Yeah. I'm POSITIVE they are related.

Inuyasha (the handsome prince) was walking on the ground below when he heard...

"YOU POOFY HEADED MORONIC GIRAFFE!"

Inuyasha's ears laid back on his head from the harsh words.

"I wonder who could be yelling such things?!" (By the way, he has a British accent in this story.)

The amber eyed prince shurgged and decided to follow the voices. He climbed thirty flights of stairs, went through fifteen rooms, ran into five servants, and smacked his head on a low ceiling... all to find the voices.

When he finally did get to the roof and he saw who it was, he knew he was in trouble...

Elizabeth spotted him first.

"AHA!" she yelled, pointing at him. "Look over there, Alyssa, the prince has come for me!!!"

"No way!" Alyssa screeched back. "He's come for ME!"

Inuyasha began slowly backing away from the girls. But alas, for he was not quick enough -Elizabeth began hopping over to him. However, Alyssa could not have her sister reach him first! So she began a mad dash towards him screaming at the top of her lungs, "MY LOVE! COME BACK TO ME!"

Elizabeth saw that Alyssa would make it first if she didn't stop her, so she decided she  
should run as well. However, running in a long dress is not a good idea. Halfway to the prince, she stepped on her dress and it ripped, causing a chain of events that led her to fall off the roof!

Inuyasha saw this and, being the half-demon he was, put his powers to work. He leaped out of Alyssa's way at the last minute and she fell flat on her face, but he took no notice to this. Instead, he was grabbing Elizabeth around the waist and taking her safely to the ground.

"Oh, Inuyasha," she sighed dreamily as he stood her on her feet. "You're so strong!"

Inuyasha blushed and looked away.

"Yeah, yeah..."

Then Elizabeth fainted and Inuyasha was forced to catch her.. again. Alyssa was stomping angrily towards them, her face redder than a tomato.

"How can you like her more than me?" she asked furiously. "She's so disgustingly pink!"

"But she was going to die a horrible death by splatting on the ground! I had to save her!"

"No, you didn't!!!"

"Are you saying I should've let your sister die?"

"Yes."

Inuyasha looked possitively appalled.

"How petty!" he said huffily before laying Elizabeth down on the ground and storming off.

Alyssa crossed her arms and sniffed. Elizabeth slowly opened one eye. Then, after noticing Inuyasha was gone, she sat up quickly and yelled, "YEAH! HE LIKES ME, HE LIKES ME, HE LIKES ME!!!!!!"

Alyssa glared at her for a solid minute before turning on her heel and marching off toward the castle.

"Hey, Alyssa!" Elizabeth called after her. "Aren't you going to help the future Mrs. Inuyasha up?"

Alyssa stopped, thought for a moment, and turned to face her sister.

"You have grass stains on your butt."

And with that, she was off again.

Inuyasha was walking through the palace later that day when Alyssa suddenly ran in front of him, screaming, "CORNCOBB GO!"

Inuyasha asked, "What's wrong, princess?"

"Oh, Prince Inuyasha! I'm going to be devoured by an evil monster from underneath my sister's bed."

"Where is the creature?" 

"Oh, well, see I was cleaning my sister's room because my mother made me for calling her a poofy head, and now it's chasing me!"

Inuyasha made a strange face and decided to help her with her quest.

They went to Elizabeth's room. It was horrible and clothes were everywhere.. it was like a tornado had struck.

"We have to clean this bloody mess?" Inuyasha exclaimed.

Alyssa nodded. Inuyasha leaned on Elizabeth's bed post where a pair of underwear fell on him.

"Ah! Get it off!"

"Oh, Inuyasha!" said Alyssa. "I'll save you!"

She ran to him, but by now he had gotton the underwear off and was just looking at it in his hands. Strangely enough, even her underwear were pink.

"Hey," said Elizabeth. "Those are clean."

Inuyasha just stared at her.

"What?" Elizabeth looked confused. "They are!"

Alyssa sighed and snatched up the pair of underwear. She then walked to the window and tossed them out.

"There, problem solved."

"NO!" yelled Elizabeth. "Those were my favorite pair! They had Prince Inuyasha's name all over them!"

"You stole them from me!" accused Alyssa.

"No, I didn't! Remember, you stole them from me!"

"Oh yeah, I remember now! Why would I ever own anything pink?!"

Inuyasha looked at the princesses and cleared his throat.

"Where's the monster?" Prince Inuyasha asked.

"What monster?" Elizabeth was confused again, like always.

Alyssa laughed nervously. "Well, uh, you see..."

"See what?" asked Elizabeth. "All I see is Inuyasha."

Inuyasha quickly figured out that there was no monster. He sighed to himself and jumped out the window.

That night, Princess Elizabeth was walking through the garden, looking for a certain someone...

"Oh, where could he be?" she thought to herself. "He's got to be here somewhere!"

She turned the corner of the path she was on and found herself walking smack into Prince Inuyasha!

"ACK!" he yelled as he jumped backwards into a shrub. "WHO GOES THERE---Oh, Princess Elizabeth.. what are you doing outside at this time of night?!"

"I was looking for you!" she cried out. "I need your help!"

"With what?" the prince asked in a voice that suggested he didn't want to encounter anymore pairs of underwear today.

"It's my sister! She's gone crazy, not that she wasn't already.. but now she's worse! She ate too much dinner and said she had to use the bathroom and I heard the toilet flush but she never came back and then I heard voices saying things about chocolate and peanut butter and I'm so afraid she's been flushed down the toilet by candy bars!!!!"

Inuyasha took a moment to register this information before he unsheathed his sword and said, "I don't know about candy bars and toilets, but if your sister is in trouble, we shall save her!"

Elizabeth sighed.

"Good thing, too, cause I need you to work the plunger."

Inuyasha shook his head.

"No, I don't think she'd fit down the toilet."

"Right, her head's too fat."

"Yes, I agree.. wait.. that's not what I meant..."

The two eventually decided to go search for the other princess inside the castle. They went up thirty flights of stairs, went through fifteen rooms, ran into five servants, and smacked their heads on a low ceiling... all to find Alyssa.

Finally, they reached the roof. When they got to the top, Elizabeth gasped and Inuyasha made a face. Alyssa was tied to a pole with a ring of fire around her. Three little children were dancing around her singing, "I love chocolate and peanut butter but I also love to cook  
the nutters!"

Alyssa looked positively horrified by their chant, but could say nothing back for she was gagged. Inuyasha was about to charge in and save her when he heard Elizabeth laughing evilly next to him.

"My plan.. it has worked perfectly!" she exclaimed as she danced around Inuyasha. "The prince shall be mine FOREVER! Muhahahaha!!"

She hugged Inuyasha tightly before taking his sword out of his hand and pointing it at him.

"You have no choice but to say yes and marry me! If you say no, then my sister gets it, and I'll cut all of your pretty hair off too!!"

"DON'T DO IT, INUYASHA!" Alyssa screamed as she finally managed to swallow the rag she was gagged with. "SHE KISSED THE STABLE BOY ONCE AND HE SAID SHE TASTED LIKE BURNT TOAST SMOTHERED IN HORSE PEE!!!"

Elizabeth turned around to yell at her sister, amd Inuyasha took this opportunity to steal the sword back.

"No!" Elizabeth wailed. "I went through all the trouble of tying her up and you won't even marry me?!"

"YEAH!" Alyssa yelled. "AND I WENT THROUGH ALL THE TROUBLE OF  
PRETENDING TO BE TIED UP AND YOU STILL HAVEN'T SAID YOU'D MARRY _ME_!"

Alyssa jumped off the pole and shoved the kids off the roof. Inuyasha dropped his sword and leaped off to catch the kids before they splatted. Once he returned to the roof, he found Alyssa holding his sword and checking her hair in the reflection. He snatched it away from her.

"Prince Inuyasha!" both girls said. "Which one of us do you choose?!"

"You're both mad!" he exclaimed. "I cannot choose one of you over the other! That'd be like choosing between getting my head chopped off or being drowned in a river. I refuse to marry either one of you!"

The princesses gasped.

"Oh yeah?!" they said haughtily. "Well, it's not like you're the only guy around."

Suddenly Charlie Weasley, the dragon tamer of Japan, swooped in on a gigantic, red, fire-breathing, sharp fanged dragon. He waved to Elizabeth.

"Hi, sweety pie!" he called down to her. "Why don't you forget all about that prince and come away with me?"

Elizabeth clapped her hands together excitedly.

"Of course, honey!"

Charlie grinned and instructed his dragon to gently pick her up and set her on its back.

"Bye, Alyssa, sorry about all the mean things I did to you! I'll send you pictures from the wedding!!"

"Okay, sorry I called you a poofy headed giraffe! And I want pictures of your kids, too!"

They waved goodbye and flew off into the night. Inuyasha turned to Alyssa.

"I suppose I could marry you..." he sighed. "I mean, you'll have to be queen someday, and you'll need help with the kingdom, and---"

"WAIT!" a voice yelled. "Don't marry him, Alyssa! I'm the guy for you!"

Hojo walked onto the roof in front of Alyssa, blocking her view ofprince Inuyasha.

"My wonderful, adventurous princess, do not even think of marrying the dog behind me. He is no match for myself! And he is certainly no match for you. Please, come away with me!"

"But you're a stable boy," Alyssa said. "And princesses are supposed to wear dresses, marry handsome princes, and wear makeup... Ah, what the heck. I don't wear makeup or dresses, so why should I marry a prince?"

"Does this mean you'll come away with me, Alyssa?" Hojo asked happily.

"Why not?!"

They embraced quickly and ran off together to start making plans, leaving Inuyasha on the roof with a disbelieving look on his face. He put his head in his hands.

"For the love of..."

"Hey Mister," one of the little kids yelled from below. "I found some underwear that belongs to you. It has your name all over it!"

::fin::

End A/N: Funny right? Hope you liked it.. Leave us plenty of reviews and maybe there will be another "Tch.. like that'd ever happen...". Peace out everybody!


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